Friday, January 29, 2016

The Character Vault - a short story

The door slams shut behind you. You step into the dimly lit foyer. A child sits on the stairs, staring at you. He tilts his head. “Another one?”

You nod.

The boy sighs. “They took my hedgehog a couple weeks ago. I was hoping he’d come back.”

A man walks down the creaking stairs. He stops a few steps above the boy. “Don’t worry, Cody. Gary is in a better place. Go play with your sister.”

The boy, Cody, nods and runs off.

The man walks up to you. “Welcome to the Character Vault. Where the unused characters stay. What is your name?”

You shrug. You were never given one.

“Another nameless, huh?” the man sighs. “You’re Number 13 now.”

You nod.

“Are you mute or voiceless?” the man asks.

You try to speak but no words come.

The man hands you a pen and paper. “Write something.”

You try to write but the pen doesn’t work. You shake it and try again. Still nothing.

The man takes the pen and paper from you and writes in neat lettering Ryder.

You take it back and try to write something but the pen still doesn’t work.

“You’re voiceless. The author never gave you a voice,” the man says. “Which means you can’t speak or write.”

You don’t have a voice. You don’t have a proper name. You are barely a character. Barely a person.

“By the way my name is Ryder,” the man says.

You extend your hand.

Ryder ignores it. “Well I have things to do. Have a nice day.”

You watch him walk off. Lightning flashes followed by the crash of thunder. You make your way up the stairs. The steps creak beneath your feet. You freeze a few steps from the top. A woman stands at the top of the stairs, staring at you. She’s missing an arm. Her face is featureless.

“Hello,” the woman says. She speaks although she doesn’t have a mouth. “I’m Tracy. Who are you?”

You take a step back.

Tracy chuckled. “You look worse than I do. The author didn’t work on you very much, did she?”

You have no clue what you look like. You don’t really want to know. You take another step back.

“You poor thing. You don’t have a clue of who you are, do you?”

You turn and run down the stairs, skipping several steps at a time. You run to the door. There is no door knob. You pound at the door. Lightning flashes. Thunder clashes. You’re trapped.

You hear footsteps behind you. You turn slowly.

A young girl in her early teens stands before you. She appears to be fully formed. She isn’t missing body parts. She’s clothed. She’s human. A person. A normal looking person. “You can’t get out. Most try on their first night but it’s impossible.”

You stare at her.

“I’m Destiny,” the girl says.

You nod and glance back at Tracy who still stood at the top of the stairs.

“Don’t worry about them. They can't hurt you You’ll get used to them eventually,” Destiny says. “You’re Number 13, right?”

You nod.

“Nice to meet you,” Destiny smiles. “I’ll show you around if you want. Although I’ve been here awhile this place seems to affect me the least. Probably because unlike most people here I’m fully formed.”

You nod. It’s all you really can do.

“Well, come on,” she runs up the stairs.

You hesitate for a moment before following her. Tracy stares as you pass.

“You can bunk with me,” Destiny enters a bedroom. Inside are two beds. Neither have sheets. There’s a barred window. You can see the storm outside.

“Don’t get any ideas. It’s impossible to leave through the windows. I’ve tried,” Destiny sits on one of the beds and holds the teddy bear.

You sigh.

Destiny sits on the bed, hugging the teddy bear. She stares at the wall.

You wave your hand in front of her face. She doesn’t respond. She’s completely spaced out. You wait a minute or two but she remains completely still. You tap her shoulder.

Destiny’s head turns. She stares straight at you. Her face is expressionless. She doesn’t blink. She barely breathes.

You back out of the room slowly. Once out of the room you turn around to see a man missing a large portion of his body. You scream and run into another. Slamming the door shut behind you, you press your back against the door and slide down into a sitting position. You hold your head in your hands. You need to get out. You need to get away. You don’t belong here. You aren’t like them. You don’t think you are. Are you?

“Are you okay?” a male voice asks.

You shake your head, not looking up.

“What’s wrong?” the man says.

You hug your knees.

“Everything will be okay,” the man says. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You look up slowly. First seeing his two feet, his two legs, his torso, his arms. He seems whole, a bit tall but whole. You look as his head and gasp.

He runs his hand through his fur. “What?”

You try to speak but no words come. He’s a wolf. He has a wolf’s head.

“I’m Fang,” he smiles, revealing his canines.

You press yourself against the door. Your heart pounds. You stare up at his wolfish face.

“Not used to my kind, are you?”

You shake your head.

“Well, I’ll leave you be then. Maybe we can talk some other time,” he tips his top hat and walks off.
You sit there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. You slowly stand. You’re in a library. It’s massive. Shelves line the walls. There’s a second story with more books. Partially formed people wander between the shelves. You pull a book from the shelves. Star Quest. You flip through the book. The pages are all blank. You grab another book, Agent Number Six. That one is also empty. You grab another, The Eclipsers. Flipping through it  you see this one is also blank. You look at several books. They all have empty pages. An entire library with millions of books. Not a single word written in any of them.

“Why did you run off?”

You turn around to see Destiny. She is still hugging the teddy bear.

“Why did you run off?” she repeats.

You shrug.

“Why did you run off?” she asks again.

You back into the bookcase.

“Why did you run off?” she repeats. “Why did you run off?”

You push past her and dash out of the library.

“Where are you going?” Tracy calls as you run past her and down the stairs.
Lightning flashes. Thunder clashes. You pound on the door. You throw your weight against it. You cannot remain. You cannot stay here. You pound against the door until your arms hurt then you pound some more. The storm outside grows worse. You wish you were out there. Out in the storm. Away from what was here. Away from the insanity.

You collapse to your knees, sobbing.

“Number 13?”

You look up and see the boy you met when you first arrived. His name is Cody.

He holds something wrapped in cloth out to you. “Here.”

You take it, watching him.

“You deserve to know,” he says gestures to the package.

You look down at the object in your hand. You slowly begin to unwrap the cloth. It’s a mirror. You look at it and see a blurred figure. Something you don’t recognize. It has no face. No features. Nothing. It’s just a blur.

“At least you have all your limbs,” Cody says.

That thing is you? You’re a faceless creature? A blurred figure? You have no name. No voice. No face. You are nothing.

The mirror slips from your hand. Glass shatters.

“Seven years bad luck for Number 13,” he says.

You stare at the shattered glass. You are just like them. You are just like Tracy, like everyone else here. You will never leave. You are a hollow shell of what could’ve been a character. You will never be able to leave.

“Seven years bad luck for Number 13,” Cody repeats.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

It's Time for Lunch and You're on the Menu - a short story

Hello reader. Now normally you’d be hearing this story from the first person view of the protagonist except the protagonist is kind of… well he’s an idiot and boring. Which will be very obvious as you hear the story. So I’m just going to narrate this whole thing so your IQ doesn’t get any lower from being inside his head. Not that your IQ could actually get any lower. You’re already pretty stupid. But I won’t take the risk. I should probably start telling the story. Well, it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far far away….. 


Just kidding. It actually started on Earth sometime in the near future.


Bobby was a fairly normal human. Two arms, two legs, one stupid little brain, and all the rest of the proper human parts. He sat in a cage. Now that might sound bad but it was a really nice cage. Right by a window. The window provided a great view of Chicago and the destruction that the aliens had caused to the windy city. Oh yeah, there are aliens too. They look like bugs. Insects to be more precise but you probably don’t know the difference between a bug and an insect so it doesn’t really matter. But anyways, aliens took over Earth and stuff. Not really that important. Let’s get back to Bobby.
Bobby gazed out the window wondering what it’d be like to be cooked by one of those famous alien chefs his captors often talked about. He was meat on the shelf of a small store. He’d probably be turned into a pizza or something of that sort. Which is a wonderfully tasty way to go but he dreamed of being prepared by professionals on TV. Sadly that dream was never going to come true.
An alien approached Bobby’s cage. What exactly the alien looks like doesn’t matter. I’ll leave that for your imagination. It’s very insect like though.
“You look tasty,” the alien said. (And yes they do speak English. All aliens speak English. It’s the language of the entire universe. Only on Earth are there more than one language because humans like making things more complicated than needed.)
The alien opened the cage door and lead Bobby down the aisle to the cash register. Bobby waited patiently as the alien paid for him and lead him out to the car. He obediently sat in the alien’s trunk as the alien drove off. Bobby hoped that the alien was actually a famous chef, which the alien was not but Bobby didn’t know that yet.
The alien pulled up in the driveway of the alien’s home and dragged Bobby into the kitchen where he lost his head. The alien turned the now headless Bobby into topping for a delicious pizza and invited all it’s alien friends over and they all had a wonderful time watching football and eating Bobby pizza.


The End


.…...Wait you wanted a happy ending where he didn’t turn into someone’s dinner? How unrealistic of a story do you want? The entire planet has been taking over by human-eating aliens who have been raising humans as meat for a few generations. There isn’t really any way for Bobby to have gotten an ending where he didn’t get eaten. And he did get a happy ending. He was turned into pizza. Pizza is amazing. So stop your complaining and just accept that this is the way things are.