The Sleepless Unicorn Writes about Stalking

Hullo humanoids. I is back with a new post. I know it's not like 3 am or anything but I didn't sleep well last night and just fried my brain with homework so I'm not really in a sane mindset. Not I'm normally in a sane mindset. But whatever. Today I am talking about stalking. Why am I talking about stalking? Well, I'm talking about stalking....

this is valid response to any question

Stalking is one of my favourite hobbies. It's rather fun. Everyone should take it up. It's a wonderful way to learn a lot about a person before ever actually meeting them. Although I do not advise following someone around with a camera and being a creep. That's rude and it could get you arrested. Stalking over the internet is much better. Lot less creepy and less likely to get you caught. Getting caught is bad. Don't get caught. They might think that you're a creep if you get caught and that'd just ruin everything. And if you get caught it makes it a lot harder to stalk them secretly. I don't make much sense. 

People stalk other people for a lot of different reasons. Maybe you want to be friends with the other person but you're weird and awkward and shy so you stalk them first. Or maybe you think the other person is hot so you like looking at all the lovely pictures of them on Facebook. Or maybe it's because you plan to kidnap and murder them because you're a serial killer. If that's the reason I suggest you get help and crap why do I have this song on this playlist *skips the song that I'm listening to*. Sorry. That was a little off topic. I listen to music when I write these things. Friday is an evil song.  But back to stalking. Don't stalk people because you're a serial killer. Stalk people because they're hot or because of some other less deadly reason. If you are a serial killer please don't come after me. Dying isn't an experience I'd like to go through again. I'm off topic again. Back to stalking! Stalk people because they're hot or because you think they're cool. 

Now if someone ever stalks you I suggest you stalk them back. Or call the police. It depends on who it is and why they're doing it. If it's a serial killer stalking you call the police. Don't die. Dying is bad. And if you do die make sure you die vertically. I have a serial killer actually. I've named her Tree and she stalks me on Pinterest and this blog and stuff (also I have a Pinterest. Go stalk me on there.) She's a nice stalker so I haven't called the cops on her yet. She's probably reading this. Hullo Tree!

I think I'm done rambling for now. Go stalk someone for non murderous reasons and don't get caught! Have a wonderful day, humanoids! And may the Force be with you!

(I just went back through and reread my post and I would edit it but that goes against what Sleepless Unicorn posts are about. I'm sorry for calling you a serial killer, Tree. I'm sure you're not that. Or at least I hope you aren't. Don't kill me.)